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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 21, 2018 2:31:39 GMT
so further initial looks.
Frida, Donna don't begin with their names.
Do we think this is a big enough tell to count them as fake?
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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 21, 2018 2:31:59 GMT
I'm still feeling stressed about that last minute rush even though what's-done-is-done so I'm gonna cool my head and bbl...from my first skim my gut's telling me the pyromaniac one seems fake though
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 21, 2018 2:32:41 GMT
Barry would be my third guess strictly due to ellipsis usage in the quote.
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Post by Kurokuma on Aug 21, 2018 2:33:36 GMT
From the Kingpins, in random order
Name: Lili Scooter Talent: Ultimate Puzzle Solver Quote: "I jig-saw that..." Bio: Lili Scooter has always been bright, especially when it comes to patterns and piecing things together. Although she's never quite gotten around to recording it, she can solve a Rubik's cube in less than two seconds! She will spend her time mastering a puzzle, and then move, but when she comes to it years later, she will always remember how to solve it. Time and time again, her genius has earned her lots of recognition. Bored of most conventional puzzles, she's turned her attention towards people. She's started to learn how to analyze patterns of behavior, how people connect with each other, and what they can accomplish if pushed in a certain direction. Humanity is the greatest mystery of all, but Lili thinks she's starting to unravel it...
Name: Tanya Miette Talent: Ultimate Boardgamer Quote: "I always make the best move!" Bio: Always excited and ready for more, Tanya is always down to play the latest and greatest in board games! She even donated the couch in her living room to make room for more gaming tables, so she can have more friends over, all the time! Of course, sometimes her overbearing nature causes people to be driven away, and she ends up hurting for companions and friends to game with, but that's when she turns her attention inside, and plays even more on her tablet, chock full of simulated games. Tanya doesn't terribly like those much though, as they're missing the social aspect. When it all comes down to it, all this gaming is just an excuse for her to make, keep, and grow friends.
Name: Abi Bains Talent: Ultimate Thereminist Quote: "Can't touch this." Bio: Not many people know what a theremin is, but Abi is destined to change that! As a young girl, she received quite a strange gift: a musical instrument that requires no physical contact. Fascinated by it, she started to play with it every night, letting the eerie sounds echo through the halls of her house. When her parents tried to put a stop to her playing, that only fed her desire to learn it more. Soon, she could play it by ear, her hands carefully still in the right positions to make the right sounds. Her Youtube channel quickly gained many followers as she was able to rapidly turn out requests for songs. Still, while not everyone knows who she is or what a theremin is, those that do happen to love her.
Name: Lisa Iwaname Talent: Ultimate Demolitionist Quote: "Controlled destruction." Bio: To her teachers, Lisa appeared to be a troublemaker without any real potential. After Lisa was expelled for completely destroying her school's playground, she found herself sneaking into construction sites at night when she wasn't helping with her father's business. The workers were baffled to find in the morning that the old buildings marked for destruction had destroyed themselves! One night, the site manager stayed late and watched Lisa's work in action, and admired her efficiency, but was concerned by her lack of regard for safety regulations. She was allowed to train as an apprentice, and has since learned to work with and even command people three times her age! To Lisa, there's nothing more satisfying then seeing a day's work come crashing down.
Name: Kia Lyamoto Talent: Ultimate Planner Quote: "Let me check my schedule." Bio: Kia has had a planner since she was old enough to write, which was admittedly earlier than most of her peers. She's always been a shining star in and out of the classroom, though she would never boast about it. Kia hopes to someday be in charge of writing the schedules for everyone on Earth to make the world a better, more organized place. She has all of her planners organized by year on her bookshelf and is in the process of writing a book called "A Better Planner, a Better Life.” Though she's incredibly bossy and will force organization into your life, those that know her say that they wouldn't be where they are without her.
Name: Lemon Lamoire Talent: Ultimate Newscaster Quote: "Good evening. I'm Lemon Lamoire." Bio: Lemon studied journalism from a young age, writing for the school paper and making expose documentaries about school. He was soon applying to work in a newsroom, but his lack of real-world qualifications kept him out, and the letters of encouragement he would get in response soon started to turn into flat-out refusals the older he got. But then his growth spurt hit early. With a little make-up, a suit, and a faked video reel, he was able to moonlight in the newsroom while still going to middle school. Working his way up, he's received several accommodations and finally got the eye of the producer of the local evening show. First he was just a substitute, but he got to experience a taste of being on the air, reading from the prompter, pontificating the news. Now, he's the regular Saturday night anchor.
Name: Orra Disantia Talent: Ultimate Spice Girl Quote: "Bring the heat!" Bio: Orra was born in a faraway land and moved around a lot with her whole family including her grandmother, her aunts, and her cousins. Each of them knew a thing or two about cooking, and each brought their own unique flavors to the dishes. But then her father and mother took her somewhere else to grow roots and settle down, and all those culinary voices disappeared from her life. Orra has always done her best to honor them with her cuisine. Putting the love of her family who taught her helped her win competition after competition. From a neighborhood chili cook-off to a televised reality show, her skill at knowing what spices to use -- and how much -- has brought her many victories. She may not have her influencers by her side, but they're always with her in spirit!
Name: Dorian Morti Talent: Ultimate Book Collector Quote: "A page-turner!" Bio: Dorian is not much of a talker or a socializer. He would prefer to spend his time in his reading room, reading. With such a voracious appetite for books, it did not take him long to realize he needed shelves upon shelves to store his precious forms of entertainment and escape. But his lust for knowledge grew, and he wanted more and more. And the regular mass produced books were no longer sating him. Soon, he started to add rarer and rarer ones to his collection by visiting black markets or by simply burgling them. So far, he's been lucky, but his desire for more and more might quickly be catching up to him...
Name: Orion Spellkey Talent: Ultimate Astrologer Quote: "It's in the stars..." Bio: Written in the stars is your destiny, and Orion can read it. As a child, he was always fascinated with stars and planets. Meeting an oracle on a visit to the circus quickly put him on the path of divination himself. After trying tarot, the I Ching, and other methods, he finally settled on a new age art form that combined with his love of heavenly bodies: astrology. His keen sense of the universe has allowed him to write some uncanny horoscopes and star charts, and it has not gone unnoticed. Soon, he was being sought after by celebrities and royalty of many nations. The only future the stars will not divulge to him is his own...
Name: Blana York Talent: Ultimate Plumber Quote: "Go flush yourself." Bio: Blana was born in the swamp regions of the south and has always had an affinity for water. At a young age, she worked for her father's plumbing company. She was often praised for using the wrenches and pipes better than the adults. Having to assert herself as a teenager in a male-dominated industry was tough, but Blana is no pushover! Quite the opposite: as a rowdy tomboy, she's found a way to fit in with the guys. Although she has not earned special accolades for her plumbing, she has helped take her father's business to new levels with her skills. It's only a matter of time before she is recognized as one of the nation's best toilet uncloggers.
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 21, 2018 2:34:34 GMT
My very basic first go through guesses would be:
Name: Frida Allepi Talent: Ultimate Breakdancer
Bio doesn't begin with first name.
Name: Barry Cedric Talent: Ultimate Pyromaniac
Ellipsis in quote.
Name: Donna Lipiski Talent: Ultimate Ultimate Player
Bio doesn't begin with first name.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 21, 2018 2:35:04 GMT
Name: Quinton Crisp Talent: Ultimate Crabber Quote: "Don't get crabby!" Bio: Quinton likes to spend his free time on the water, checking on his crab pots in the ocean. An excellent swimmer and boater, he feels most at home on the water. He is also an excellent chef when it comes to seafood, and he could eat fish and crab for every meal. His road to becoming a crabber was a rough one, as he has no history of crabbing, fishing, or boating in his family. He has to drive or be dropped off at the shore, an hour away from home. Still, he is quite determined to catch the most, while being sustainable. He hopes to become a member of a fishing expedition to the Arctic as soon as he is old enough. I don't buy this one.
- It doesn't explain why he's an Ultimate.
- No mention of what drives him to be a crabber - It uses "on the water" twice in the first two sentences.
- The sentence "he is quite determined to catch the most, while being sustainable" is weird.
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 21, 2018 2:36:01 GMT
are we really unlucky in that all of ours started with the persons first names and the other tribes had provided bios without first name starts?
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 21, 2018 2:37:11 GMT
Like I would legitimately not stoked if we were the only ones that would have our creativity hampered by being given bios where the first word is always the first name of the person.
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Post by Sonia Nevermind on Aug 21, 2018 2:53:06 GMT
Yeah there's 4 for Kingpins, so I guess we can't go off that alone
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 21, 2018 2:58:13 GMT
Yeah there's 4 for Kingpins, so I guess we can't go off that alone Yup.
The first set is now also ?. I'll look at these in more depth later. I'm going to go refresh myself after today.
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Post by Sonia Nevermind on Aug 21, 2018 3:01:54 GMT
Melani: Weird name perhaps
Nazeem: That sentence in the middle is really long. And the name combination seems atypical. There’s also a bit too many mentions of his name, and some of the comma usage seems forced in places. Forced looking comma usage is definitely something I'd look for since that's an obvious pattern that seems more natural to whoever was writing these.
Frida: I don’t think anyone would choose the word “surreptitiously” when writing one of these fake bios. But maybe that’s the point?
Barry: I’ve never seen quantum used in this context, and that’s the only really thing that jumps out. Oh and maybe the quote.
Lindsay: Nothing stands out to me so far
Delia: Sort of a different structure than what we’ve seen so far.
Emmett: The “, but then” here was a bit of a jump I think?
Quinton: Nothing jumping out.
Albert: Again the name used multiple times and it’s a very typical job and quote. The end blurb seems fake as well.
Donna: I actually think this one is real, but I wouldn’t put it too low. It’s a really weird and clever choice so I don’t think someone trying to win would want something that stands out so easily. Maybe not too low though? We know that the first word name thing isn't a certainty now.
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 21, 2018 3:32:30 GMT
I've got weird initial thoughts. I only really in depth read one of them, and have notes on that specific person. But I initially skimmed these and counted the.... commas. Weird, but I recall reading in this thread that the mods really liked their commas. So here are the comparisons with the Masterminds bios: Melani: 7 commas total Nazeem: 10 commas Frida: 5 commas Barry: 11 commas Lindsay: 6 commas Delia: 1 comma. Do we really think commas matter? Emmett: 6 commas Quinton: 9 commas Albert: 9 commas Donna: 3 commas Tamari: 8 commas Loni: 7 commas Doris: 12 commas Yula: 4 commas Bartov: 9 commas Pamela: 7 commas BB: 6 commas I will also add that I did actually fully look at one of their bios and a few lines in one of them really stood out to me: Lindsay: My initial first fake guess due to the third and fourth sentences reading not like something the mods would write, especially in succession. The lines in question are: Lindsay: "As she got older, her grandfather taught her how to make honey and take care of the bees. Sometimes she'd get stung by the bees, learning quickly that she shouldn't annoy them. "
I'll fully read into the others after posting this.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 21, 2018 3:40:33 GMT
From the masterminds: Name: Melani Leo Talent: Ultimate Graffiti Artist Quote: "Spray, spray, then run away!" Bio: Melani just wants her voice to be heard. Down with the system! The way she fights back is through her art. With a few cans of spray paint and her gas mask, she becomes a vigilante, spreading her message all over town with a mural of amazing quality. She is fast, too, and works best under cover of night. The police have caught her once, but she's not afraid. She won't rest until she brings about change the only way she knows how. - Ok but like why is she so mad. What change does she want - Where did her artistic skill come from - why does this make her an Ultimate - What happened with the police. Why mention it if nothing happened Name: Nazeem Redmond Talent: Ultimate Firefighter Quote: "Fight fire with water!" Bio: Nazeem grew up in a firehouse surrounded by firefighters. His father, a single parent, often kept him in the firehouse whenever he needed to be on call and couldn't get someone to watch him. Nazeem did not mind; at first he loved sliding down the pole, but then he quickly learned all the duties of a firefighter just by watching them, and he spent his time working out in order to become stronger. He ran up stairs over and over, practiced putting on the gear, and even learned how to operate the hoses. His father took notice of his abilities and took him under his wing. Soon he was riding on the truck, helping with the hose, the ladder, and gear. Nothing beats helping to save lives, and Nazeem looks forward to working with his father after school is over. This looks legit. Name: Frida Allepi Talent: Ultimate Breakdancer Quote: "Break it!" Bio: By day, Frida is a wealthy heiress to a quilt conglomerate. But by night, she sneaks out of her home to meet up with her friends and is a breakdancing sensation! Living a double life and keeping the other secret has been stressful, but it has only fueled the fire and she has spent many a night practicing her spins and her stances. Her parents are suspicious, but they are also never home. She fears rejection from her crew if they find out how much she's worth. That doesn't stop her from surreptitiously giving a helping hand whenever she can. No one is quite sure why she and her friends are so lucky when they have to pay for something like medical expenses, but they just keep on dancing. This one is really awkward all around and probably bogus - The "But by night" is uhh like a broken thought. I'm not sure why that is there - "Living a double life" means have 2 lives, "Keeping the other secret" means a 3rd life - "fueled the fire" doesn't make sense here - The transition from "parents never home" to "fears rejection" is really sudden - Surreptitiously yeah and that sentence is a fragment - The last sentence also doesn't make sense, who is this "anyone" who knows about the secret breakdancing club? Name: Barry Cedric Talent: Ultimate Pyromaniac Quote: "Time to burn things..." Bio: Barry liked to play with matches as a kid, mesmerized by the flame and and enthralled by the power the heat had. No one paid much attention to him anyway, so he got away with it. Soon he was lighting fires in the alley behind school, or setting off fireworks in the dead of night at the park. As he got older, he not only became more daring, but more knowledgeable. In a quantum, he can turn any spark into a roaring fire, on any surface, with any materials. He is proud of his ability, which almost seems preternatural. However, he ultimately does not have control of the flames, so he does his best to be careful. - "In a quantum" is suspicious - "preternantural" is suspicious - 2nd sentence is awkward Name: Lindsay Zilch Talent: Ultimate Beekeeper Quote: “Say Bees!” Bio: Lindsay grew up on her grandfather’s honey bee farm. She loved the sweet and delicious taste of honey from a young age. As she got older, her grandfather taught her how to make honey and take care of the bees. Sometimes she'd get stung by the bees, learning quickly that she shouldn't annoy them. Regardless, she persisted, learning to love the bees and make them love her. Since she started training, the farm has tripled its production! Every night before she sleeps, she pours some honey in her tea and sits on her patio while enjoying the buzz around her. I buy this one. Name: Delia Thompson Talent: Ultimate Florist Quote: "Flower power!" Bio: Delia works in her family's flower shop before she goes to school and helps close it up. Her cheery personality belies the emotional strain on her from her parents' marital problems. Trying to avoid them, she buries herself in work. The only time they seem calm and stop fighting is when she shows off her floral arrangements. She always brings an artistic touch and makes them so quaint and beautiful. Flowers do seem to have a soothing effect on her family. Hopefully she can keep them all together! This one feels super short but I think it's ok? Name: Emmett Hayes Talent: Ultimate Ventriloquist Quote: "You talking to me?" Bio: Emmett never had many friends as a kid. He spent many days alone on the playground talking to his imaginary friends, but then he got a ventriloquist dummy for Christmas. Soon he found solace in creating different personalities and characters as his dummy collection grew. After showcasing his newfound talent at the local talent show, he became a lot more popular. Soon after, he began performing for various government officials and celebrities, including the Prime Minister! His shows sell out everywhere he goes, and he's even preparing for an international tour. He loves all of his dummies, but his favorite will always be his first. I buy this one Name: Quinton Crisp Talent: Ultimate Crabber Quote: "Don't get crabby!" Bio: Quinton likes to spend his free time on the water, checking on his crab pots in the ocean. An excellent swimmer and boater, he feels most at home on the water. He is also an excellent chef when it comes to seafood, and he could eat fish and crab for every meal. His road to becoming a crabber was a rough one, as he has no history of crabbing, fishing, or boating in his family. He has to drive or be dropped off at the shore, an hour away from home. Still, he is quite determined to catch the most, while being sustainable. He hopes to become a member of a fishing expedition to the Arctic as soon as he is old enough. - It doesn't explain why he's an Ultimate. - No mention of what drives him to be a crabber - It uses "on the water" twice in the first two sentences. - The sentence "he is quite determined to catch the most, while being sustainable" is weird. Name: Albert Griffin Talent: Ultimate Dentist Quote: “Open Wide!” Bio: Albert grew up with a fascination for teeth. Most people hated going to the dentist, but it was Albert’s favorite time of the year! His love of teeth followed him into his teen years where he studied up on everything he could to learn more about he strong, ivory bone. Whether it was a molar, incisor or cuspid, if it was in the mouth, Albert knew all about it! He never understood why so many people in the world could go without flossing their teeth every day! He was determined to change the world, and clean the mouths of millions, so Albert opened up his own dentistry office. One by one, he would save the world. One by one, mouths would be cleaned. - This one has a typo: "about he strong, ivory bone" - Too many shout poles - Starting his own business doesn't fit the others Name: Donna Lipiski Talent: Ultimate Ultimate Player Quote: "You never know if you don't throw!" Bio: Ultimate! Donna loves tossing a frisbee around. She's got good power behind her throw, and she always hits her target. Growing up, she spent her days rain or shine tossing the frisbee back and forth with anyone she could. An avid frisbee golfer and discus thrower, she is a quintessential athlete. But her true love is the sport of ultimate frisbee. Nothing beats tossing that plastic disc into the wind. This one seems really meh Man I don't know. I think the typo on the dentist makes it a slam dunk. But other than that there are too many options.
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 21, 2018 3:48:30 GMT
Ok so yeah Albert's typo is indisputable correct?
Initial looking at the masterminds. HAS to be fake.
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Post by Mikan Tsumiki on Aug 21, 2018 3:49:06 GMT
I'm so sorry but I've got a stomach bug and don't have time right now to help or PM. I'm hoping some rest will help me tomorrow. I'll give you guys updates then.
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 21, 2018 4:04:59 GMT
Melani: Commas in the quote. This just feels like a description that doesnt describe anything. Nazeem: "Nazeem did not mind; at first he loved sliding down the pole, but then he quickly learned all the duties of a firefighter just by watching them, and he spent his time working out in order to become stronger. " This is one LONG sentence Frida: Yasuhiro summarized my thoughts much better "- The "But by night" is uhh like a broken thought. I'm not sure why that is there" Barry:In a Quantum? Lindsay:My initial first fake guess due to the third and fourth sentences reading not like something the mods would write, especially in succession. Delia: "so quaint and beautiful." is like very awkward.Feels like it should just be makes then quaint and beautiful. This is the first one of the set with a "problem." The last sentence doesn't feel like a closer. Emmett: Seems fine? Quinton: Redundant first two sentences. Feels like theres an excessive amount of HE and HIS. Albert: typo. get rekt. Donna: This one is like way shorter than any of ours. It's the shortest oene period?
All of these names are way less diverse than our names were.
Most Fake: Albert Quinton Frida Delia Barry Donna Melani Lindsay Nazeem Emmett Least Fake
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 21, 2018 4:10:50 GMT
Also note Masterminds have 5/5 split in male/female names.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 21, 2018 4:24:10 GMT
Name: Lili Scooter Talent: Ultimate Puzzle Solver Quote: "I jig-saw that..." Bio: Lili Scooter has always been bright, especially when it comes to patterns and piecing things together. Although she's never quite gotten around to recording it, she can solve a Rubik's cube in less than two seconds! She will spend her time mastering a puzzle, and then move, but when she comes to it years later, she will always remember how to solve it. Time and time again, her genius has earned her lots of recognition. Bored of most conventional puzzles, she's turned her attention towards people. She's started to learn how to analyze patterns of behavior, how people connect with each other, and what they can accomplish if pushed in a certain direction. Humanity is the greatest mystery of all, but Lili thinks she's starting to unravel it... - "and then move" should probably be "and then move on" - also that is a huuuuuuuge sentence like whoa - ... at the end? Name: Tanya Miette Talent: Ultimate Boardgamer Quote: "I always make the best move!" Bio: Always excited and ready for more, Tanya is always down to play the latest and greatest in board games! She even donated the couch in her living room to make room for more gaming tables, so she can have more friends over, all the time! Of course, sometimes her overbearing nature causes people to be driven away, and she ends up hurting for companions and friends to game with, but that's when she turns her attention inside, and plays even more on her tablet, chock full of simulated games. Tanya doesn't terribly like those much though, as they're missing the social aspect. When it all comes down to it, all this gaming is just an excuse for her to make, keep, and grow friends. - first sentence has 2 "always' - this one is really strange, she's the Ultimate Boardgamer but it talks about a tablet - another reaaaaaally long sentence in the middle - who grows friends are they plants Name: Abi Bains Talent: Ultimate Thereminist Quote: "Can't touch this." Bio: Not many people know what a theremin is, but Abi is destined to change that! As a young girl, she received quite a strange gift: a musical instrument that requires no physical contact. Fascinated by it, she started to play with it every night, letting the eerie sounds echo through the halls of her house. When her parents tried to put a stop to her playing, that only fed her desire to learn it more. Soon, she could play it by ear, her hands carefully still in the right positions to make the right sounds. Her Youtube channel quickly gained many followers as she was able to rapidly turn out requests for songs. Still, while not everyone knows who she is or what a theremin is, those that do happen to love her. - Why would the parents try to stop her. Who gave it to her to begin with then? - I think this is the only one that states a service like Youtube by name Name: Lisa Iwaname Talent: Ultimate Demolitionist Quote: "Controlled destruction." Bio: To her teachers, Lisa appeared to be a troublemaker without any real potential. After Lisa was expelled for completely destroying her school's playground, she found herself sneaking into construction sites at night when she wasn't helping with her father's business. The workers were baffled to find in the morning that the old buildings marked for destruction had destroyed themselves! One night, the site manager stayed late and watched Lisa's work in action, and admired her efficiency, but was concerned by her lack of regard for safety regulations. She was allowed to train as an apprentice, and has since learned to work with and even command people three times her age! To Lisa, there's nothing more satisfying then seeing a day's work come crashing down. This one is ok Name: Kia Lyamoto Talent: Ultimate Planner Quote: "Let me check my schedule." Bio: Kia has had a planner since she was old enough to write, which was admittedly earlier than most of her peers. She's always been a shining star in and out of the classroom, though she would never boast about it. Kia hopes to someday be in charge of writing the schedules for everyone on Earth to make the world a better, more organized place. She has all of her planners organized by year on her bookshelf and is in the process of writing a book called "A Better Planner, a Better Life.” Though she's incredibly bossy and will force organization into your life, those that know her say that they wouldn't be where they are without her. This one is also ok. Name: Lemon Lamoire Talent: Ultimate Newscaster Quote: "Good evening. I'm Lemon Lamoire." Bio: Lemon studied journalism from a young age, writing for the school paper and making expose documentaries about school. He was soon applying to work in a newsroom, but his lack of real-world qualifications kept him out, and the letters of encouragement he would get in response soon started to turn into flat-out refusals the older he got. But then his growth spurt hit early. With a little make-up, a suit, and a faked video reel, he was able to moonlight in the newsroom while still going to middle school. Working his way up, he's received several accommodations and finally got the eye of the producer of the local evening show. First he was just a substitute, but he got to experience a taste of being on the air, reading from the prompter, pontificating the news. Now, he's the regular Saturday night anchor. - expose vs exposé - typo? - "he would get" and "he got" in one sentence - he's received several "accommodations"?? Maybe was supposed to be "commendations"?? This one is totally fake. Name: Orra Disantia Talent: Ultimate Spice Girl Quote: "Bring the heat!" Bio: Orra was born in a faraway land and moved around a lot with her whole family including her grandmother, her aunts, and her cousins. Each of them knew a thing or two about cooking, and each brought their own unique flavors to the dishes. But then her father and mother took her somewhere else to grow roots and settle down, and all those culinary voices disappeared from her life. Orra has always done her best to honor them with her cuisine. Putting the love of her family who taught her helped her win competition after competition. From a neighborhood chili cook-off to a televised reality show, her skill at knowing what spices to use -- and how much -- has brought her many victories. She may not have her influencers by her side, but they're always with her in spirit! This one is just a really really strange story but I think it's ok Name: Dorian Morti Talent: Ultimate Book Collector Quote: "A page-turner!" Bio: Dorian is not much of a talker or a socializer. He would prefer to spend his time in his reading room, reading. With such a voracious appetite for books, it did not take him long to realize he needed shelves upon shelves to store his precious forms of entertainment and escape. But his lust for knowledge grew, and he wanted more and more. And the regular mass produced books were no longer sating him. Soon, he started to add rarer and rarer ones to his collection by visiting black markets or by simply burgling them. So far, he's been lucky, but his desire for more and more might quickly be catching up to him... - I love the "reading" at the end of the 2nd sentence, it's so not necessary. He's not in his reading room eating burgers - I'm confused if he's a collector or a reader - "burgling" is weird to use here, why not just stealing - another .... ending Name: Orion Spellkey Talent: Ultimate Astrologer Quote: "It's in the stars..." Bio: Written in the stars is your destiny, and Orion can read it. As a child, he was always fascinated with stars and planets. Meeting an oracle on a visit to the circus quickly put him on the path of divination himself. After trying tarot, the I Ching, and other methods, he finally settled on a new age art form that combined with his love of heavenly bodies: astrology. His keen sense of the universe has allowed him to write some uncanny horoscopes and star charts, and it has not gone unnoticed. Soon, he was being sought after by celebrities and royalty of many nations. The only future the stars will not divulge to him is his own... I think this is ok. Maybe I'm biased Name: Blana York Talent: Ultimate Plumber Quote: "Go flush yourself." Bio: Blana was born in the swamp regions of the south and has always had an affinity for water. At a young age, she worked for her father's plumbing company. She was often praised for using the wrenches and pipes better than the adults. Having to assert herself as a teenager in a male-dominated industry was tough, but Blana is no pushover! Quite the opposite: as a rowdy tomboy, she's found a way to fit in with the guys. Although she has not earned special accolades for her plumbing, she has helped take her father's business to new levels with her skills. It's only a matter of time before she is recognized as one of the nation's best toilet uncloggers. This seems legit. whew
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 21, 2018 4:31:55 GMT
Lili:Uses the full name immediately? I dont think any others have the full name in the bio at all. The second sentence is an immediate change from the first. "and then move," Is there any chance this isn't meant to be and then move on? Tanya: This is full of one long sentence "Of course, sometimes her overbearing nature causes people to be driven away, and she ends up hurting for companions and friends to game with, but that's when she turns her attention inside, and plays even more on her tablet, chock full of simulated games." CHOCK full of sumulated games? Abi: Youtube mention is a bit weird. Lisa:"watched Lisa's work in action," thats a very odd turn of phrase. Oddish last name? Kia: "Though she's incredibly bossy and will force organization into your life" weird tone change from the rest of the bio. Lemon: expose documentaries? exposé documentaries? Orra: odd name. spices aren't only associated with heat, so the quote feels potentially off. This one honestly reads really badly to me. There's like 900 lines of backstory and the 4th and 5th sentences dont feel mod written especially. I feel like all of it reads super bad though. Dorian:This is just an odd one. This one is more verbose, and has sudden theft in it. Orion: I'm not sure. Blana: Quite the opposite: as a rowdy tomboy, she's found a way to fit in with the guys. There's no way that the : there is appropriate punctuation, or am I missing something? Nothing is being listed here.
Most Likely Fake: Lemon Blana Lili Orra Tanya Kia Dorian Orion Abi Lisa Least Likely Fake
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 21, 2018 4:37:07 GMT
Definitely fake:
Masterminds: Albert
Kingpins: Lemon
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 21, 2018 4:42:19 GMT
My take on Blana: "To join sentences. You can use a colon to connect two sentences when the second sentence summarizes, sharpens, or explains the first. Both sentences should be complete, and their content should be very closely related. Note that if you use colons this way too often, it can break up the flow of your writing.
"A colon instead of a semicolon may be used between independent clauses when the second sentence explains, illustrates, paraphrases, or expands on the first sentence. Example: He got what he worked for: he really earned that promotion."
"Quite the opposite: as a rowdy tomboy, she's found a way to fit in with the guys."
There's no way these are two sentences right? Quite the opposite. As a tomboy she's found a way to fit in with the guys.
I may just being dense right now, and I'm very ok with being informed I'm just being dense. It's just annoying me current time.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 21, 2018 4:56:58 GMT
I think the 2nd sentence explains, illustrates etc the first right
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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 21, 2018 4:59:43 GMT
So...all of our Real bios and all of the Kingpins's bios have very proper capitalization/punctuation in their quotes. The Ultimate Dentist Albert Griffin's “Open Wide!” and The Ultimate Beekeeper's Lindsay Zilch's “Say Bees!” stick out for that reason (both from Masterminds). I think that particularly lends credence to Albert being fake, combined with typo/content/it making less sense to me for it to be capitalized, but I'm 50/50 on Lindsay's, because I think the reason for Albert's being capitalized could be that it was inspired by Lindsay. Does that make sense?
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 21, 2018 5:15:05 GMT
Regrettably, I must report that it is possible the mods missed one or more typos and/or incorrect word choices. Sorry :$ ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm going to bed
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Post by Shuichi Saihara on Aug 21, 2018 5:26:02 GMT
Yeah, looks like the bios starting with their names isn't going to work since 4 don't in the second one. Going through them before reading what anyone else said about them.
Not a fan of how at the start, they re-say Nazeem instead of refering to him by his pronoun to clear things up, but at the second bolded part they don't do that, when there could be some confusion.
Is the bolded grammatically correct? Nothing really about her journey to becoming an ultimate. Just that she dances with friends secretly.
Prime Minister? Are the mods American?
Not a fan of the bolded. Unnecessary padding, when other bios show the journey instead of saying it.
Typo
Lmao. Why is the word ultimate added unnecessarily twice?
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