Celestia Ludenberg
Blackened
Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you're doing you
Posts: 956
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Post by Celestia Ludenberg on Sept 19, 2018 5:27:13 GMT
Wait who made a boot list? Cuz I hate to say it, but if I made a boot list, Chihiro would have been one of the last people on there? Like I would have voted you out before her. No offense, but she was my girl. I was going to take her as far as I could.
I understand where you're coming from. If I had seen a boot list with all my friends going home, I would have been upset too. I imagine Akane and Sayaka must have orchestrated a list with the people they thought I was the least close to.
Plus any boot order I would have given to Akane at that point would have just been lies anyways because I was trying to get her to still trust me and so it would have been based around who I thought she'd want to go. I just really don't remember ever giving a boot order to anyone.
I'm kind of tipsy. Tonight was so much stress.
But like I was being genuine when I had a plan for me, you, Hiyoko, Chihiro, Gundham, and Kyoko to be a thing when we got to merge. That's why it hurts so much I think. Cuz like, I was excited for our Alliance and you guys were the people I was targeting.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Sept 19, 2018 10:53:45 GMT
Hiyoko gave me a boot list that she said was from Kyoko. I figure you guys have a pretty similar view of the game y'know? You've been together so long, hard to imagine you guys don't have some F-whatever deal. Anyway it went like this:
Sayaka
Chihiro
Mikan
Shuichi
Akane
Nagito
She implied she was working on some kinda F5 deal with us and you guys, uh I mean, F5 of you/me/her/Gundham/Kyoko, but she also said she felt it was super likely that we were to go at F5/F4. I trusted her so I didn't even question it any of this at the time but, uh well now I'm guessing this is all complete nonsense huh? Anyway I saw this and like, oh look all my favorite people are about to die. I can't let this happen. etc
I feel really stupid. Especially like, if I'd known you liked Chihiro so much, that'd have changed everything.
I'm sorry you were stressed. I'm sorry for everything.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Sept 19, 2018 13:50:57 GMT
You know, I get the feeling, everyone loved Chihiro and Chihiro loved them too. He told me a few times the game was making him super stressed. I never understood why though and he never said. I'm wondering now, what if all he saw was round after round of having to boot off people he really cared for? Just having to stab one friend after another after another. Maybe he decided, it was better to just leave than to do that. Seems like something he would do y'know?
I did all this because I wanted to keep him safe and he ended up leaving because of all the drama. Never accuse the universe of not having a sense of humor.
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Celestia Ludenberg
Blackened
Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you're doing you
Posts: 956
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Post by Celestia Ludenberg on Sept 19, 2018 17:11:01 GMT
Idk if Kyoko ever made a boot list for Akane, but I do know she was trying to make amends with Chihiro through Gundham. Chihiro thought that Kyoko was leaking info about Chihiro to Nagito, but she wasn't. That's the only part of the list that seems plausible, but I'm still not convinced Akane didn't make it up. Kyoko knows how close Chihiro was to Gundham and I. I don't think she would have gone against like that.
It's okay man. I just wish you'd been honest before. I happily would have tried to clear the air during all the chaos. But I do understand where you're coming from and why you did it. I really do.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Sept 19, 2018 17:24:30 GMT
Oh sorry I guess that was confusing, Hiyoko gave me that list, not Akane. I trusted Hiyoko because we'd been allies so long, so I didn't even question the thing. It was just, here's this list, it's reality, I don't want my friends to die.
You're right. I should've just come to you. I should've said hey, I got this list and it's super bad for me, can we compromise here? If I'd done that we would've figured out Hiyoko was spreading false info, we would've avoided all this mess, you and I would still be ok. Instead I made a lot of mistakes and caused you a lot of stress.
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Celestia Ludenberg
Blackened
Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you're doing you
Posts: 956
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Post by Celestia Ludenberg on Sept 19, 2018 18:01:46 GMT
I would have been down for a compromise lol I would have been like "oh shit this whole thing is pretty much wrong"
But honestly, I'm not thinking that far ahead. I'm just trying to do what's best for my game every round. Sayaka is the only person left that I don't like and I used to adore her <3 but like I don't want to think about which of my friends I want to go next, you know? Like if Sayaka isn't a vote option here, idk what I'll do. I'd be happy to talk our decision through together this round, if you'd like.
Let's just say, I don't trust you like I used to, but I'm willing to give you opportunities to earn my trust back if you want it. I'm not asking you to vote the way I want or do everything I say. I would just like to start discussing the votes and maybe deciding together what we do? Like if we end up voting differently, fine. At least we were honest with each other. Like if you'd come to me last round, we wouldn't have voted the same, but I would have understood. Mikan and I are still pals. We just agreed not to get mad at each other for having different friends. Regardless of the vote outcome.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Sept 19, 2018 18:27:49 GMT
sigh I'm so dumb I work the same way, I don't make grandiose plans or anything. I just think like, here's the people I want to protect, how do I get them through another round. Yeah sure we can talk through things. I mean, I'm already assuming if you guys win the house whatever you're picking me and Sayaka and that's fine, not really much to talk through there. But knowing is nice I guess. You should talk to Mikan about the Kyoko stuff. I really was trying hard to push the vote away from you.  |
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Celestia Ludenberg
Blackened
Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you're doing you
Posts: 956
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Post by Celestia Ludenberg on Sept 19, 2018 18:33:08 GMT
Let's just say, you're only a target if we can't put up the 2 people we want. You can trust me or not, but I don't want to say who the targets are until we know who won HOH. But you've still got time to earn the trust back, man. I wouldn't be putting in all this effort if I wanted you gone this round lol. Long PMs are my enemy
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Sept 19, 2018 20:04:58 GMT
You're the injured party here not me. Why wouldn't I trust you?
Sorry for making you write giant PMs.
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Celestia Ludenberg
Blackened
Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you're doing you
Posts: 956
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Post by Celestia Ludenberg on Sept 19, 2018 20:16:12 GMT
True. I guess because anything can happen in survivor? But ya I think the only one considering getting you out here is Hiyoko tbh. You're good lol it's worth it. I like to be up front about how I feel and what I want from people, so it was worth it to be able to clear the air between us. Just don't expect them all the time  |
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Celestia Ludenberg
Blackened
Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you're doing you
Posts: 956
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Post by Celestia Ludenberg on Sept 19, 2018 23:58:02 GMT
Sorry man. I was pushing for Hiyoko and Sayaka
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Celestia Ludenberg
Blackened
Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you're doing you
Posts: 956
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Post by Celestia Ludenberg on Sept 20, 2018 0:58:19 GMT
I'm actually kind of upset because I spent all this time reassuring you and then Kyoko didn't even listen to what I wanted for the nominations
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Sept 20, 2018 1:55:32 GMT
Well I expected it so I'm not surprised.
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Celestia Ludenberg
Blackened
Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you're doing you
Posts: 956
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Post by Celestia Ludenberg on Sept 20, 2018 1:56:41 GMT
I feel like I'm always in the dark about these things. Even with my own team
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Sept 20, 2018 1:59:31 GMT
Well that one is surprising.
Do I get more picks? Do they have to help me somehow? I dunno how this works.
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Celestia Ludenberg
Blackened
Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you're doing you
Posts: 956
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Post by Celestia Ludenberg on Sept 20, 2018 2:17:15 GMT
Shit sorry I left in your time of need! Pick someone you think would pull you off the block. Sayaka was probably a good choice.
And ya I was pushing Hiyoko and Sayaka and we were discussing the merits and then out of nowhere it was you and Mikan. She brought up you/Hiyoko or Sayaka/Mikan, but idk where you and Mikan came from. Makes me think she was just agreeing with me to appease me, but not actually listening to me.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Sept 20, 2018 2:21:14 GMT
Mmm, well, I'm sorry she didn't. Thank you for trying Celes.
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Celestia Ludenberg
Blackened
Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you're doing you
Posts: 956
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Post by Celestia Ludenberg on Sept 20, 2018 2:32:44 GMT
I hope you win veto man <3
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Sept 20, 2018 14:31:07 GMT
She brought up you/Hiyoko Hey I have a question
If Mikan got vetoed out, you think she'd pick Hiyoko?
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Celestia Ludenberg
Blackened
Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you're doing you
Posts: 956
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Post by Celestia Ludenberg on Sept 20, 2018 14:35:27 GMT
Either Hiyoko or Sayaka tbh. I don't know which.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Sept 20, 2018 14:46:55 GMT
Well yeah but.
It'd really mean a lot if it was Hiyoko. I mean, assuming someone even gets swapped.
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Celestia Ludenberg
Blackened
Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you're doing you
Posts: 956
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Post by Celestia Ludenberg on Sept 20, 2018 15:57:28 GMT
If someone gets swapped, I'll see what I can do. But no promises she'll listen to me this time
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Sept 20, 2018 16:09:32 GMT
I know you can't promise, that's ok. I'm just. Please.
Think of it like this. If you need something better than just, me begging. Last vote ended, nobody is really sure what would've happened right? I'm gonna guess, there's some people out there whose votes you're not super sure of. Like, maybe you have a good idea, but you don't 100% know. Toss Hiyoko in, you set up some of what happened last round, added bonus I'm in there, now you can see where votes go with 0 risk to you and yours. Right? That info's gotta be valuable. I think.
All I wanted, when we merged, was to keep my friends safe. That's it. That's why Ibuki was so hard, that's why last round happened how it did with Chihiro. And I just keep failing. But if this time, if I can keep them safe just once, that would make me feel like this game wasn't a total loss. I feel very much, my game is over. Too many mistakes y'know? The people I trusted, one lied to me the whole time, one backstabbed me at the worst moment, one left. Not exactly a stellar record for someone who's supposed to be a social player. So I just wanna give them a chance. That's all.
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Celestia Ludenberg
Blackened
Don't be mad cuz I'm doing me better than you're doing you
Posts: 956
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Post by Celestia Ludenberg on Sept 20, 2018 16:32:35 GMT
I really do get where you're coming from. I messaged Kyoko and asked her what she wants to do if one of you comes down. I'll do what I can, but neither of the people I wanted are on the block, so I don't know if Kyoko will listen to me anymore. Like I told you and Mikan that you guys were good and now I just look like an asshole whose teammates don't even listen to her. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be bitching. I'm just kind of bitter about this whole thing. I don't think you or Mikan are a danger to me and I wanted to try working with both of you. I'll do what I can to push Hiyoko, but she is the reason I'm still here so Kyoko is hesitant to put her up.
Was Hiyoko pushing Kyoko really hard last round? Kyoko has been asking me about that.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Sept 20, 2018 16:45:59 GMT
I'll look. Though I should note, she was telling different people different things so, this is just my perspective.
Oh man I completely forgot how she was all "hey I got this plan we need to take out the trio" at first haha wow. Totally slipped my mind that Akane wasn't the first until looking back at all this.
No she was all talk about you and Gundham. She said Kyoko was a bad idea because Mikan and Kyoko are in a clique.
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