Post 2

"Welcome!" said the headmaster. "I'm glad you could join us for this lovely opening day luncheon. We often have trouble retaining students' interest when they find out where they've been taken.
"What? What's going on? This isn't my high school...I thought I'd be spending senior year on top, maybe joining student council, maybe joining the varsity team..." You look around and begin to notice how strange your surroundings are. You're in a castle, it seems, with shields and weapons on the walls, torches lit in a variety of colors. All around you are a number of strange creatures roaming the halls, from giant rats to what looks like anthropomorphic dragons dressed in fancy butler garb. Other students are arriving and are waving their arms strangely, causing cool colorful things to appear, then lighting things on fire, or freezing them, or making vines grow from nowhere.
"Oh, did no one tell you? You're in magic school. Congrats, you have been accepted!"
You wonder how you got here, since you never applied for such a thing. But...it does seem cool.
"Now it's time for the sorting ceremony. It's quite simple, really. Do you want to go to the left hall, or the right hall?"
"Huh? Don't I get to know more about them?" You thought there would be a little more pomp and circumstance to this...
"Nonsense. Choose wisely...just walk towards your hall when ready."

To go to the left hall, go to Post 10.
To go to the right hall, go to Post 6.

Post 4

The spider queen hisses, and you decide to stare into her many eyes. So like jewels they are, so precious, so pretty, so hypnotic...oh fuck

"Do you want to seeeeeerve me, human puppet?"
"Yes...mistress" you reply.

The spider queen proceeds to [CENSORED] you up the [CENSORED] while [CENSORED] her babies [CENSORED CENSORED OH GOD MY EYES ARE BURNING THIS IS SO GROSS] into a [CENSORED] with a [CENSORED]. And you love every minute of it.

THE END

Post 6

The right hall it is. As you walk to the right, you feel like you're approaching a tropical garden. Palm tries start to replace the castle walls, and soon you find yourself in a room that appears to be the beach on a sunny day. You feel the warm rays, but there's just enough of a cool breeze to make it comfortable.
"Oh. A newbie," a girl snorts. "welcome, I suppose." You scratch your head an introduce yourself, to which she scoffs and ignores you.
"Don't worry about Miranda! She's not a bitch, I swear!" someone says. You suspect that may not be true, but you decide to play along.
"The name is Daniel. I'm the head of the right hall. Welcome to paradise!" he says. "Now, come stand on this island to fully be indoctrinated." He points out to an island off the shore a little bit. It looks more like a sand bar, but there is a palm tree growing off of it. You notice the eyes of several people watching you as you proceed.
"Depending on certain circumstances, a song will play." You stand where they tell you. "Do you hear Green Day's Welcome to Paradise, or Eddie Money's Two Tickets to Paradise?"

I hear Welcome to Paradise - go to Post 13
I hear Two tickets to Paradise - go to Post 18
I hear nothing... go to Post 11

Post 8

As you take a toke, your body starts to change...
you feel your hand becoming branches, and your feet digging into the ground. your skin becomes bark and you lose your face in the wood. The cool kids freak out because you're turning into a tree, but fuck 'em. Trees are cool, right?This is amazing. You feel incredible! You're a giant tree, man! You sway in the breeze a little bit, and you eat some sunlight as the time goes by...

And then you get cut down by some jackass logger. what a dildo.

THE END

Post 10

"The left hall it is...sigh..." the headmaster says and walks away. He seems disappointed, but you're curious why he even bothered to give you that option. You walk towards the left.
Immediately, the room starts to get smoky and hazy, and when you finally walk in, everyone seems to be in some state of drug addled stupor. It's literally like a crack house that you've seen on Law and Order or some shit. what the fuck.
"Welcome!" someone says, getting up, looking more spry that he should, his eyes burnt out. "I'm Thomas. Welcome to the party hall!"
"It...doesn't look like much of a party..."
"Oh, nonsense. Let's go out back and hang out with the cool kids. Don't worry about these losers."
"But what were you doing here if you weren't..."
"Don't worry about it..."

Follow Thomas - Go to Post 24
Don't Follow Thomas - Go to Post 24

Post 12

"Nah, man. Crack is whack, and ganja, i don't wantcha." Thomas and the cool kids look at each other.

Go to Post 11

Post 14

"I'm sorry. I never told you this. But the truth is...I'm a kraken," Daniel says. You look at him funny. Miranda, beside you, has a stone face, but not like the resting bitch face she has, but like a bitchy terror face.
"And now you will be one, too. That is the curse of leadership." All of a sudden tentacles appear where his body was, and he's a giant kraken. Holy shit. Wait, where is he going to place those tentacles?
"If you resist, you will die, but if you accept...you will become like me, and i will be free..."

I...accept...i guess i have no choice... - Go to Post 30
TIME TO CLENCH MY BUTTHOLE AND SHAKE MY HEAD NO TENTACLE IS GOING INTO ME THIS AINT NO HENTAI GTFO - Go to Post 3

Post 16

"You can try anything you like, here. Anything you want. We got more drugs than we know what to do with."
Now that you're pretty much addicted to magic weed like the rest of these poor schmucks, it's time to when in rome, dude. Thomas opens a box, and there's three different colors of joints

Take the red one - Post 28
Take the green one - Post 8
Take the black one with a skull on it - Post 19

Post 18

Everyone's eyes open wide as you mention the song you heard. They stare at each other, in a mix of panic, excitement, and bewilderment. Someone farts happily.
"You are the leader!" someone shouts. Daniel holds up his hands, which certainly won't become tentacles later.
"Now, now, now. Let's take it easy. There's a ceremony to this," he says, but he turns to you, all smiles.
"But first...it's time to see if you can get my rocks off."
"I'm sorry, what?" you ask, but Daniel grabs you by the hand and flings you across the island. You are nervous. I mean, he's certainly attractive, but it really depends on your sexual orientation, gender, and promiscuity as to whether you'd be up for that right away...
but then you see an altar. There's three rocks on it. And Daniel gives you three rocks.
"If you can put all your rocks onto the altar...knocking all of mine off...you will have passed the test and will be almost ready to ascend."
You're not quite sure whether you want that or not, but you had no life before and spent most of your time playing caroms by yourself in your basement because you're a loser with a lame hobby. So it's really your choice if you complete this task or not.

Let's win this and see what happens! - Go to Post 22
Ooooops, i threw one of my balls into the ocean... - Go to Post 9

Post 20

You decide to party with the rest of your right hallians. Drinking tasty drinks and dancing in the sand, you hardly notice the time. The sun goes down and stays down for a long time, but you're gonna party 'til dawn, just like everyone else! Let's do it!
You wake up, feeling a grogginess in your head and a stiffness in your body. "What happened," you utter, but your voice sounds dry and raspy. Daniel and Molly look at you forelornly.
"Dude...you partied too much. You partied your life away."
"Wait, what?" Molly holds a mirror to you, and you see you're really old now!
"Why aren't you guys old? Didn't you party as long as I did?"
Molly shrugs.
"Sorry, dude. You know what we have to do with old people."

Go to Post 11.

Post 22

Daniel quickly introduces you to your roommate Molly, who's pretty cool. She hates Miranda as much as you are starting to.
He then lets you go and you spend the night talking with Molly.
in the morning, Miranda goes to come fetch you.
"Come with me. I won't take no for an answer. I also have a friend here, who won't come with us if you say yes, but will help me if you say no."
"Hey, cut that out," Molly says, but the friend casts a spell and Molly falls asleep.
"Well?"

If you say yes, go to post 7
If you say no, go to post 11

Post 24

Thomas grabs you by the hand, either willingly or not, and with surprising strength, tosses you towards cool kids.
"Thanks for following me, dude."
"I..." you start to say, but now you don't really remember if you wanted to or not.
You turn to your right. There's a wolf pack staring at you hungrily for some reason, but they're behind a fence.

If you want to continue with Thomas, go to post 5
If you'd rather climb the fence, you can go to either Post 11 or Post 19, but preferably both.