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Post by Sonia Nevermind on Aug 20, 2018 20:29:52 GMT
I tried my best but this probably isn't that great.
Name: Gertrude Schmidt
Talent: Ultimate Weather Reporter
Quote: "Don't forget your umbrella!"
Bio: Gertrude has always been in love with the sky. Every day she would go outside and document the clouds, the rain, and the temperature. Her parents noticed that she had an interest in weather and bought her a barometer for her 13th birthday. Since then, she's been spending most of her time outside trying to predict the weather. After applying for a job at the local news station several times, she finally got the job. Now she appears on TV every day in the morning! The people of her town all know that they can count on her to tell them exactly what the weather will be like.
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 20:47:18 GMT
Feel free to write revisions and repost! I don't want you guys to have to wait on me. I thought the same thing about the car but then I noticed the other fakes had names here and there referencing their title. Bach and Motzart for example. Yeah that's largely why I was unsure about how specific. Bach and Mozart are kind of generic name tosses, but I have not a clue about drag racing so I can't comment on the similarity in the name drops. |
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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 20, 2018 20:55:10 GMT
How does this read as an updated taste tester? Name: Jacqueline Clément Talent:Ultimate Taste Tester Quote:"Too much salt!" Bio: Jacqueline loves one thing: food. Growing up in her family's restaurant she discovered the ability to pick out certain ingredients from dishes when she noticed the new quiche recipe had too much egg in it. From that day onward whenever a new recipe was to be introduced, her parents asked her to make sure it was perfect. The restaurant soon grew in fame, and attracted travelers from all around the world. With the restaurants newfound fame, Jacqueline became a sort of culinary icon for her ability to dissect difficult flavors within any dish presented to her. This led to chefs coming to the restaurant in an attempt to stump her taste buds, but if you ask her you need to stump more than her tongue! I dunno if Clement is too similar to the Clemson surname (real bio). I just added a few commas below. Overall think it looks good. I'm kind of fixated on the "Growing up in her family's restaurant" clause. Maybe just add "From" to the front of it?
Bio: Jacqueline loves one thing: food. Growing up in her family's restaurant, she discovered her ability to pick out certain ingredients from dishes when she noticed the new quiche recipe had too much egg in it. From that day onward, whenever a new recipe was to be introduced, her parents asked her to make sure it was perfect. The restaurant soon grew in fame, and attracted travelers from all around the world. With the restaurants newfound fame, Jacqueline became a sort of culinary icon for her ability to dissect difficult flavors within any dish presented to her. This led to chefs coming to the restaurant in an attempt to stump her taste buds, but if you ask her, you need to stump more than her tongue! |
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 20:55:52 GMT
I think everything up to the "trying to predict the weather." Is pretty good. The last half reads a bit less fluid but has decent bones.
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 20:58:03 GMT
I would agree with changing the last name as well.
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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 20, 2018 20:58:40 GMT
Name: Yuti Nakazawa Talent: Ultimate Drag Racer Quote: "Taste the rubber!" Bio: Yuti once stole his parents car at the young age of 4, immediately crashing it. The thrill of the crash should have traumatized him but instead, spurred a desire to go faster then ever before. A natural born thrill seeker, Yuti took every opportunity he could to race, claiming that he would never back down from a challenge. By the age of 16, Yuti had become an online sensation drag racing with his modified Trueno 86. Limited only by the cash needed for a better vehicle, he decided to take to drift battles until he can one day become king of the drag racing circuit! This one's really funny. I like the Quote and the concept of a 4 year old carjacking. No real opinion on the Trueno bit (are any of the mods plausibly into cars?) Only thing is that I think it should be parents'
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 21:05:10 GMT
Other last name ideas: Verne, Perron, Perault, Mignon, Deschamps,St. Marie
I'm just looking off a list on a website to be honest. I have no idea what would flow the best here.
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Post by Mikan Tsumiki on Aug 20, 2018 21:15:04 GMT
Should we start looking into which ones we want to submit?
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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 20, 2018 21:23:51 GMT
I tried my best but this probably isn't that great. Name: Gertrude Schmidt Talent: Ultimate Weather Reporter Quote: "Don't forget your umbrella!" Bio: Gertrude has always been in love with the sky. Every day she would go outside and document the clouds, the rain, and the temperature. Her parents noticed that she had an interest in weather and bought her a barometer for her 13th birthday. Since then, she's been spending most of her time outside trying to predict the weather. After applying for a job at the local news station several times, she finally got the job. Now she appears on TV every day in the morning! The people of her town all know that they can count on her to tell them exactly what the weather will be like. I don't find this bio as convincing because it's not clear to me from it how her talent qualifies her to be an ultimate, which I feel bad saying because I don't have much of a suggestion for what direction to take it in...maybe tying in predicting natural disasters could work? |
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 21:26:46 GMT
I've been trying to write something for an Ultimate Analyst, but I just can't find any rhythm while trying it.
Also we should definitely choose a couple from all submitted to look at again, and touch up if needed.
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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 20, 2018 21:27:46 GMT
I like Jacqueline Deschamps or Jacqueline Leloup for Taste Tester
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 21:27:47 GMT
Just kidding, I thought it wasnt in the initial list, but it is. I mistyped initially, please ignore.
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 21:28:12 GMT
I also liked Deschamps the most.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 20, 2018 21:29:08 GMT
The ultimate drag racer title is actually pretty great. Reading through it I think the then should be than? I love the flow of that, but I have no idea if the Trueno 86 is too specific for this or not. That's very tough because it does read very well. The length is probably fine. Yeah yeah I like that one a lot and I have no idea what a Trueno 86 is. Fits with like, Tokyo Drift right.
Would Ultimate Street Racer be better? I'm not sure what the difference is.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 20, 2018 21:31:06 GMT
I don't find this bio as convincing because it's not clear to me from it how her talent qualifies her to be an ultimate, which I feel bad saying because I don't have much of a suggestion for what direction to take it in...maybe tying in predicting natural disasters could work? Ultimate Meteorologist?
or uh did you mean the bio part
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Post by Mikan Tsumiki on Aug 20, 2018 21:35:36 GMT
Ultimate Meteorologist is funny.
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Post by Shuichi Saihara on Aug 20, 2018 21:40:02 GMT
Hey, I'm around until deadline! I'll catch up unless anyone wants to update what we still got to do.
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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 20, 2018 21:42:09 GMT
I don't find this bio as convincing because it's not clear to me from it how her talent qualifies her to be an ultimate, which I feel bad saying because I don't have much of a suggestion for what direction to take it in...maybe tying in predicting natural disasters could work? Ultimate Meteorologist?
or uh did you mean the bio part
I do think Ultimate Meteorologist would be a good change, but I did mean the bio yeah. It's less clear to me what's exceptional about her talents in that bio than in others |
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 21:43:00 GMT
I think we're trying to narrow down options to a few, as well as trying to craft more ideas to see what sticks and feels good.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 20, 2018 21:44:24 GMT
Name: Gertrude Schmidt Talent: Ultimate Meteorologist Quote: "Don't forget your umbrella!" Bio: Gertrude has always been in love with the sky. Every day she would go outside and document the clouds, the rain, and the temperature. She loved studying books on weather patterns and learning about how small changes in one part of the world could cause huge changes in another. When she was 14, she was watching the weather forecast on the local news. The weatherman was reporting that a moderate thunderstorm was due that evening and not to be alarmed, but Gertrude wasn't so sure. She checked the online weather databases she'd learned how to use and realized that the storm was going to pour enough rain to flood the entire town. She convinced her family to evacuate, and just as she predicted, the town was flooded and many homes were destroyed. When the local news heard about her story they interviewed her and she became an intern at the station. It wasn't long before her accurate predictions earned her a spot as the chief meteorologist.
Too dramatic? Help?
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 20, 2018 21:50:08 GMT
Oh wow I didn't realize we only had 3 hours left woops.
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 21:57:25 GMT
Looking at all of the given bios again there seems to be a smattering of unfortunate events or in general negative events within all of them but Tarumis.
"painful experiences"
"that they were having financial troubles."
"was often disqualified because her moves were too dramatic"
Bartovs is basically all negatively tinged.
"near death experience "
"Getting addicted to sugar and partying until an hour after bedtime took him to a dark place"
I do think in general ours are still ok, but that might be a trend in the other tribes?
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Post by Shuichi Saihara on Aug 20, 2018 22:00:43 GMT
I'm looking to see if there's any secret connection between these things still.
It is interesting to note there are 5 girls and 2 boys ,so it might not hurt to do three boys to have a 5/5 split? Most tribes would probably not suspect it to be that uneven.(unless they got an uneven split too, but I suspect it was randomized)
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Post by Sonia Nevermind on Aug 20, 2018 22:02:16 GMT
That's a good observation. Maybe our taste tester choked or got food poisoning that made them become really sensitive to taste? Drag Racer already has one so that's good
Its not really a requirement though, wording is probably the most important here
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 20, 2018 22:03:06 GMT
Here's another edit of this one. I noticed a lot of the mod ones had exclamation marks so I rewrote a bit.
Name: Himari Itō
Talent: Ultimate Poet
Quote: "Poems are just written dreams."
Bio: Himari is a very shy girl. She grew up preferring a quiet life of reading, writing and dreaming instead of toys, games and parties. She started writing short stories at an early age, and as she got older she found she really enjoyed poetry. The way she could express herself with not just the words themselves but their shape and flow was mesmerizing! In an effort to be supportive, her parents began secretly submitting some of her works to poetry journals and magazines, hoping the recognition would help her come out of her shell. When Himari found out she was furious, but by then the damage had been done: her poetry was a hit and her name was being discussed as a future Poet Laureate.
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