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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 20, 2018 16:28:46 GMT
I'm just going to throw out three of these now that I'm back and have read everything. Name: Stella Clément Talent: Ultimate Taste Tester Quote: "Tasty!" Bio: Stella loves one thing: food. If it isn't food, she doesn't have time for it. She discovered her ability at a young age while helping out at her family's restaurant, when she pointed out that there was too much egg in her family's new quiche recipe. From that day onward whenever a new dish was introduced, they would always run it by her to make sure the dish was perfect. Her family's restaurant soon grew in fame, and she became known worldwide for her tasting abilities. People would come from all around the world to get their dishes not only critiqued, but some also attempted to stump her tongue. If you ask her though, you need to stump more than her tongue! Name: Angus Bathe Talent: Ultimate Escape Room Designer Quote: "Solve This!" Bio: Angus grew up loving nothing more than to challenge people. If someone had a differing opinion, he would challenge it regardless of his beliefs. His obsession with challenging peoples opinions eventually drove him into a corner, and his family sought out professional health for his mental state. During a session, the doctor presented Angus a challenge. This challenge would end up being his first escape room. He solved it easily. This sparked something within him, and soon he created and sold his first escape room. The room was so popular, and so difficult it brought enthusiasts from far and wide to try and complete it. Once his first room was completed, he began on his second, striving to create the perfect escape room. Name: Ikuyo Ejiri Talent: Ultimate Origami Folder Quote: "I Fold" Bio: Ikuyo learned of Origami from growing up with her grandmother. She grew appreciation for the art at an early age, and soon began making simple structures. Her grandmother took note of her ability, and soon began training her into making more complex pieces. Soon, the student became the teacher as Ikuyo began producing higher quality origami than her grandmother. Soon after, her grandmother passed away leaving her in a deep rut. Without direction from her grandmother, she decided on one last project; a family of origami cranes. The completion of the cranes sparked a worldwide phenomenon, but whenever asked about making future origami she always says she'll never be able to top perfection. I'll probably jot down some more of these just to see what sticks. A lot of these are probably not as crafted as they should be, but I feel better about throwing everything out just to see what sticks. I think the Taste Tester one's the most convincing as-is but I think being more specific about what to stump besides her nose might be a good move, as might playing around with quotes. "...Doesn't taste like chicken." or "Too much salt!" or " *Ptooey*! So salty!" are my only ideas there. |
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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 20, 2018 16:49:32 GMT
French name brainstorm:
Bette Lajoie
Viviette Lajoie
Geneve Ouellet
Tullie Leloup
Crispine Leloup
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 20, 2018 17:10:44 GMT
Paris Baguette
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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 20, 2018 17:26:10 GMT
Would it be helpful to create names that closely resemble the ones we were given? Example: Real - Loni Lorris Doris Liber Fake - Loki Doi Our name blends in better with the fake ones that way. Loki Doi's a good one imo. |
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Post by Sonia Nevermind on Aug 20, 2018 17:51:50 GMT
I don't know if I'm gonna be good at writing any of these, I'm not so good at that kind of thing. But I will look for patterns if I can!
I feel like there's a large number of commas in all of the real bios...
Some of the bios have a unique feature that sets them apart from the others. Something like that could probably be interpreted either way by the groups. Chomski is the only one that uses "..." I think?
A lot of the names seem like really old style names (or names specific to a nationality). You could have something like Gertrude or Bertha. In that line of things. I don't know about Loki Doi, that seems a bit too on the weird side
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 20, 2018 18:00:26 GMT
ok this turned out to be harder than I thought. I guess I'm not very creative. I'll try to do another one later.
Name: Himari Itō
Talent: Ultimate Poet
Quote: "Poems are just written dreams."
Bio: Highly introverted, Himari always preferring a quiet life of reading, writing and dreaming instead of toys, games and parties. She found at an early age she quite liked poetry, the way the words themselves had shape and flow and appreciated the possibilities that a writing form with few rules afforded her. In an effort to be supportive, Himari's parents began secretly submitting some of her works to poetry journals and magazines, hoping the recognition would help her come out of her shell. When Himari found out she was furious, but by then the damage had been done: her poetry was a hit, her name was being bandied about as a future Poet Laureate.
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Toko Fukawa
Victim
[img]https://i.imgur.com/jtYlLVR.png[/img]
Posts: 16
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Post by Toko Fukawa on Aug 20, 2018 18:07:50 GMT
Cool stuff guys. I'm only just catching up aside from some quick PMs I sent earlier but I'll definitely come up with some stuff soon.
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 18:20:03 GMT
The first word needs to be Himari(or whatever the name is.) I'm not sure if the second sentence should be two different sentences(period after poetry, maybe would just need to add an and after the comma?) The second sentence is definitely too long and would need to end after flow. bandied might be too high brow of a verb. This is actually the first time in my life i've ever heard it used.
Another weird thing I've noticed that whenever in the main bios parents are mentioned, they're never with the name of the person. Loni's is kind of weird but its not making reference to "her parents" it's in the first sentence and not referencing any particular singular set of parents.
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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 20, 2018 18:22:41 GMT
If it wasn't clear, the French names were also meant to be other suggestions for the Taste Tester (quiche is French and I think Kirumi was going for a French name as such).
There's a 5:2 Female to Male ratio with the real bios...there would probably be a disparity towards real female bios even when combined with another tribe as such. It looks like most of the bios we've done so far are also female. I don't have a strong feeling about the best strategy surrounding that but I think it's worth discussing.
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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 20, 2018 18:23:58 GMT
Actually Stella isn't even French, not sure why I thought that.
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Ibuki Mioda
Blackened
listening to yet another bop
Posts: 385
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Post by Ibuki Mioda on Aug 20, 2018 18:26:18 GMT
Name: Carlyle McSnort
Talent: Ulimate Edgic Maker
Quote: "How did Dom not win?"
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 20, 2018 18:29:50 GMT
Jeez I'm terrible. Thanks Kirumi. How's this look?
Name: Himari Itō
Talent: Ultimate Poet
Quote: "Poems are just written dreams."
Bio: Himari, being highly introverted, grew up preferring a quiet life of reading, writing and dreaming instead of toys, games and parties. She found at an early age she quite liked poetry, the way the words themselves had shape and flow, and appreciated the possibilities that a writing form with few rules afforded her. In an effort to be supportive, her parents began secretly submitting some of her works to poetry journals and magazines, hoping the recognition would help her come out of her shell. When Himari found out she was furious, but by then the damage had been done: her poetry was a hit and her name was being discussed as a future Poet Laureate.
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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 20, 2018 18:51:59 GMT
Structure wise I think that the Himari bio's a good fit. It's 115 words 656 characters, so it's on the low end of their norm. I think some of the word choice in it is a bit more verbose than the real bios tend to be. Like I might change "being highly introverted" to "being very introverted" or even "very shy." Mulling over whether "afforded" (regarding writing rules) stands out for similar reasons.
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Post by Yasuhiro Hagakure on Aug 20, 2018 19:01:17 GMT
 I am a bad. We don't have to use it. I should probably leave this to the experts. |
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 19:05:40 GMT
I am a bad. We don't have to use it. I should probably leave this to the experts. no no.
Literally everything posted here has been helpful in some manner or another. I'm positive none of these are quite perfect current time. There are different parts of everything that make me read the originals more to try and dissect little bits of them, like the parent thing. I never would've looked at that if I hadn't read yours. Also I would like to re-state all of the ones here are pretty close to being very good.
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Toko Fukawa
Victim
[img]https://i.imgur.com/jtYlLVR.png[/img]
Posts: 16
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Post by Toko Fukawa on Aug 20, 2018 19:05:55 GMT
Name: Kaitlyn Peterson
Talent: Ultimate Plus-size model
Quote: "More to love."
Bio: Kaitlyn has always struggled with her weight. She was always one of the bigger girls and was often picked on by her classmates. This caused her to be very insecure and unhappy. However, all the bullying she had to endure as a girl made her develop a very strong personality. As a teenager, she started to embrace her curves and her body and began to accept herself for who she was. She started getting an interest for fashion and her self confidence skyrocketed, until she was offered a contract by the world's biggest Plus-size model agencies. Now she's a role model for all the bigger girls in the entire world.
This is a lot harder then it looks...
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 19:06:33 GMT
Also I was looking for French girls names. The first site I clicked on had Stella as a French girls name, and another one I clicked on today(just now) didn't? Names are definitely the easiest thing to fix though.
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Post by Chihiro Fujisaki on Aug 20, 2018 19:23:59 GMT
I am a bad. We don't have to use it. I should probably leave this to the experts. Nah dude, I think that one has a lot of potential to fool. The person that wrote these has a writing style that feels hard to capture to me. (I'd like to try to contribute more with the writing but I'm stumped idea-wise despite the brainstorming...I spent a while trying to come up with translator/bartender quotes but got discouraged with it)
But I think you did really well with matching their sentence structure, and the concept behind her parents submitting her stuff and her being mad fits well with other bios and is well-worded. So it's down to little nitpicks to make it match the reals.
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 19:25:14 GMT
How does this read as an updated taste tester?
Name: Jacqueline Clément
Talent:Ultimate Taste Tester
Quote:"Too much salt!"
Bio: Jacqueline loves one thing: food. Growing up in her family's restaurant she discovered the ability to pick out certain ingredients from dishes when she noticed the new quiche recipe had too much egg in it. From that day onward whenever a new recipe was to be introduced, her parents asked her to make sure it was perfect. The restaurant soon grew in fame, and attracted travelers from all around the world. With the restaurants newfound fame, Jacqueline became a sort of culinary icon for her ability to dissect difficult flavors within any dish presented to her. This led to chefs coming to the restaurant in an attempt to stump her taste buds, but if you ask her you need to stump more than her tongue!
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Post by Mikan Tsumiki on Aug 20, 2018 19:58:59 GMT
Name: Yuti Nakazawa
Talent: Ultimate Drag Racer
Quote: "Taste the rubber!"
Bio: Yuti once stole his parents car at the young age of 4, immediately crashing it. The thrill of the crash should have traumatized him but instead, spurred a desire to go faster then ever before. A natural born thrill seeker, Yuti took every opportunity he could to race, claiming that he would never back down from a challenge. By the age of 16, Yuti had become an online sensation drag racing with his modified Trueno 86. Limited only by the cash needed for a better vehicle, he decided to take to drift battles until he can one day become king of the drag racing circuit!
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Toko Fukawa
Victim
[img]https://i.imgur.com/jtYlLVR.png[/img]
Posts: 16
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Post by Toko Fukawa on Aug 20, 2018 20:12:16 GMT
You guys are pretty great at this.
Also Jacqueline sounds great for a french name
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Post by Kirumi Tojo on Aug 20, 2018 20:14:10 GMT
The ultimate drag racer title is actually pretty great. Reading through it I think the then should be than? I love the flow of that, but I have no idea if the Trueno 86 is too specific for this or not. That's very tough because it does read very well. The length is probably fine.
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Post by Mikan Tsumiki on Aug 20, 2018 20:18:54 GMT
Feel free to write revisions and repost! I don't want you guys to have to wait on me.
I thought the same thing about the car but then I noticed the other fakes had names here and there referencing their title. Bach and Motzart for example.
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Post by Mikan Tsumiki on Aug 20, 2018 20:19:24 GMT
Toko are we.... like... sisters? We have the same pose!
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Toko Fukawa
Victim
[img]https://i.imgur.com/jtYlLVR.png[/img]
Posts: 16
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Post by Toko Fukawa on Aug 20, 2018 20:25:01 GMT
Sure thing sis! tbh I have no clue
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I am a bad. We don't have to use it. I should probably leave this to the experts.