I'm still in despair tbh but here is a closer
Oct 13, 2018 1:38:05 GMT
Post by Nagito Komaeda on Oct 13, 2018 1:38:05 GMT
Hello again everyone! This is Nagito Komaeda reporting in one last time. The thought that this is all almost over makes me dizzy. It's been a lot of fun talking to you guys again. Thank you for sharing this experience with me and taking even a moment to consider what I've had to say. I knew there was a good chance my choices had made people angry with me. I will never claim to have played an outstanding game. For one last time I will argue why I think I played the best game among those remaining and deserve to be the Ultimate Survivor of this Killing Game.
I said at the beginning that I played a social game with strong bonds. I still believe this is true. All of the people who expressed doubts about me, people like Celes that didn't know if they could trust me to keep them or Akane who was never sure I valued her as an ally, they still trusted me and liked me enough to keep letting me in on their votes and inform me what was going on. Kyoko especially has said she went to bat for me. Besides those obvious links though, people like Hagakure and Mikan never dropped me as backup options. Even Gundham who had no connections to me at all brought me an F3 he was serious about.
I worked hard to be someone everyone could find a use for. It couldn't possibly work for everyone all the time, but anytime I was mentioned as a name it had so much resistance that it never worked out. I did mistakenly put Chihiro completely off so I can't say my social qualities were perfect, to be honest I think I have a huge problem in general with tone. Overall I suceeded in having many friends I could rely on. It did matter to me that in the end the state of the game proved I cared about them and wanted them to do well so I do hope that goal suceeded as well.
At every point I was a part of the majority. Even if the majority in one round was completely different from the next. If someone tried to leave me out of a vote I was able to find out about it quickly. Because I seemed unattached to a particular faction or its friends I was effectively a part of everything. I had my attachments to particular players but my allies wouldn't have agreed to work as a group on their own. So I tried to support plans on each side that voted everyone else, until they were the only ones left. I am surprised that this ended up being as subtle as it was.
Other then Hagakure everyone I preferred made it to F7, at which point I knew a vote on me wasn't being considered and I was already in the endgame. Despite this I played every round with the consideration of what would happen in the end, knew who was trying to let me go after that, and tried to secure myself an F4 I would survive with Shuichi and Gundham thinking they were the best options left. Things didn't always go exactly how I wanted to because this is Survivor and none of you were just letting things happen. On the whole I believe my plan for this endgame was successful and I played a strong part in making it happen this way.
I had two idols in my possession from very early. When Gundham and Shuichi talk about positions and safety especially in Future Foundation, I imagine them trying to make those idols disappear with their deadset conviction I was in trouble. I was in danger of being voted. But there was no world in which I would not survive.
Usually idols get misplayed because of paranoia and backstabs. I was in a good enough informed position and had deep enough connections to my allies that despite the fact a good deal of people thought I had an idol, no one aimed at me until it was too late. I was aware both of when I was in danger and when I was not, and managed to keep them secret and safe until the very last rounds when it was most likely other items could eliminate me by accident. I was the only one with this guarentee and the only one that managed to survive long enough to play the items they found on themselves.
Summary:
Gundham
The second thing is the spoiler effect that shuichi talks about, but my view is a bit more nuanced than how it's presented. Like when you have 3 people at the end, often times when you have a pair and an outsider, people are often unable to congregate on one of the pair and will vote for the outsider, this is usually because of the intertwining of the pairs plans with each others, meanwhile the outsider has a clear story. (I can link an article on it if you want), Not only is this a theory but it's held for almost every tribal council since season 21 of survivor.
In the beginning of merge Gundham acted like Celes/Kyoko's third wheel. I believe Gundham knew people perceived him as safer to keep around then them later. Instead of using that safety to secure an endgame he could win, he continued to play it safe until the end. By throwing his vote in the F7 he effectively said he didn't care who he ended up getting here with, whether they were friends or enemies. He didn't care as long as someone took him at all.
He did get Akane's vote against Hagakure to save Hiyoko but this didn't stop her, or his new F3 alliance, from voting Hiyoko out immediately after. That was the limit of his influence.
Shuichi
Despite everything I've said about Shuichi, he's a good friend and I loved our mischevious plots together. He's a pretty funny guy. Our relationship was full of sarcastic jokes and trust. I don't regret getting here together. He's already forgiven me for the harsh things he knew I had to say about him. I know my special rebuttal pic made him laugh. 
We are going to be friends after this no matter what happens. I can't promise I'll be happy for him if he wins though, I'll be too busy burning in the depths of despair.
My rebuttal is a reflection of my thoughts from knowing Shuichi the longest. I'm not a juror and he doesn't have to prove anything to me. It's my job to convince you. Even now in our clique, during FTC he asked if he should just stop talking to Akane and go full-on insulting her. He seemed shocked that Gundham and I didn't know what to say to him in response. I wonder if Gundy will mention it?
I believe he often didn't know his position. He didn't know other people didn't like him enough to keep secrets for him. He didn't know people weren't that interested in fighting for him. There was a decent amount of ambivalence that got him here. Even someone like me who he'd been working with from the start didn't trust him enough to tell everything, especially not my idol collection.
It's hard to separate his actions from mine because he never disagreed with doing what I wanted. But when it comes to separating my actions from his. I can say I had so much more going on then him. I didn't need him for safety or information, I didn't accidentally leak my advantages, I made long-lasting bonds with people that sometimes didn't need me but preferred me around anyways, and I sure as hell didn't have a simplistic view of an F3 pact I'd stay loyal to until the end.
We are going to be friends after this no matter what happens. I can't promise I'll be happy for him if he wins though, I'll be too busy burning in the depths of despair.
My rebuttal is a reflection of my thoughts from knowing Shuichi the longest. I'm not a juror and he doesn't have to prove anything to me. It's my job to convince you. Even now in our clique, during FTC he asked if he should just stop talking to Akane and go full-on insulting her. He seemed shocked that Gundham and I didn't know what to say to him in response. I wonder if Gundy will mention it?
I believe he often didn't know his position. He didn't know other people didn't like him enough to keep secrets for him. He didn't know people weren't that interested in fighting for him. There was a decent amount of ambivalence that got him here. Even someone like me who he'd been working with from the start didn't trust him enough to tell everything, especially not my idol collection.
It's hard to separate his actions from mine because he never disagreed with doing what I wanted. But when it comes to separating my actions from his. I can say I had so much more going on then him. I didn't need him for safety or information, I didn't accidentally leak my advantages, I made long-lasting bonds with people that sometimes didn't need me but preferred me around anyways, and I sure as hell didn't have a simplistic view of an F3 pact I'd stay loyal to until the end.
Nagito Komaeda
Whew I think that's about everything I wanted to say. In summary I was able to come into Merge with strong bonds from my tribes that held despite some serious opposition to my presence. I had a good deal of people working towards endgames that included me, and I avoided being voted by many people who would have been better off with me gone. I had two rounds of safety guarenteed me and I did not waste my idols, I was the only one who played their own and the only finalist with an idol at all. I was always aware of what I could do with the bonds I had. Even though the effect I had on people wasn't always great, I found out about these things and either fixed it or worked around it. I tried to be friendly and open to considering what every person I met wanted. And I returned friendship with friendship as best I could with my vote and actions. I did accidentally betray Hagakure but there is no one on my list of closest allies that I acted again without good reason, usually because they were acting against me first.
Everyone in this merge was a treat. You guys think this is a boring ending but it was a lot of work to get here. I would have been satisfied with whoever I was voting to win. I have gotten way more emotional about this then I expected to be. Thank you for listening to the words of a lowly, no good hopeless Ultimate student like me.